Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
