What did we do last night that was yellow?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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