How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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