addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
