Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
