Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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