these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
