My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
