He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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