I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Randomize
