i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We got so high we made milksteak
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
FUCK WHALES
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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