yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
