Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
