The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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