i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
