Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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