new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
