a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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