We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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