if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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