i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
