If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
