I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
