You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
