Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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