You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
