just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So much rum. So many feels.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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