I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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