member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
