Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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