I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
