One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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