He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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