I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
