I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
