Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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