i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize