Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
