Your favorite bartender is back from prision
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
