kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
