I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
