You made me cry and you don't even care
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
