i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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