Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
