Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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