The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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