Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
