their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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