i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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