i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
