I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
